My first half marathon was 10 months ago. At the time, I was living outside of Washington, DC. I travelled down to Orlando for the RunDisney Star Wars Dark Side Half. The plan was to meet a group of online running friends, and to make a vacation out of the event.

Of course, the first thing that made me nervous was the distance. The second was knowing that they needed “proof of time” to assign corrals. This led to my searching for timed events on short notice, and running my first 10k race.

What no one prepares you for when you race in DC is that there are a lot of people who are faster than you may hope to be. I was happy with my time, and it set me up well for my half. But there were people who crossed the finish line by the time I hit the four mile mark.

I ran my first half in 2 hours, 12 minutes, and a few spare seconds. I was happy with it. I’d only taken up running about a year before that point. I never thought that it was something that I’d stick with for the long term. And I definitely didn’t believe that I would want to run more than a 5k or 10k – let alone to race those distances.

Without anything on the schedule for a while after that race, I started to miss scheduled runs. My wife finished grad school. We moved to Florida. When I started training again, I tore my Achilles. This was unfortunate: Training had started for my next half. I built stamina, I put the time in, but I didn’t run much. Of course, I wasn’t only running injured; I had bronchitis at the time. And the tire had a flat on our way to the starting line – a story for another time. My second half took about 7 minutes longer than my first.

But I also had a renewed energy for running, and new goal times in place. I followed a loose training plan, added in more cross training and remembered how much I like being out on my bike. My next half was to be the WDW Marathon Weekend half – cancelled due to thunderstorms in the area.

I realized that I needed to do something to battle my disappointment. That cancellation was brutal, but I was able to sign up for a half the following weekend. I finished that one in 2 hours and 5 minutes; I’m on track to take another 5 minutes off by the time this April comes around. I’d be happier if it were 10 or more.

Every once in a while, I look at the way that I’ve been training for events. I need to work on shaking things up. And yesterday, that looked like adding quarter-mile repeats after running an easy 5k. Tomorrow I have a 10-mile run on the schedule. I’m trying to take it easy today – to rest a bit – and it feels terrible.

That’s the challenge that comes with running as more than  sport or exercise. If running becomes stress relief, meditation, and a means of striving for better, days off suck. I find myself edgy, too quick to respond in anger. But if I don’t take the rest days, performance suffers.

In an ideal situation, balance is something that would come with ease. Ideal situations don’t seem to exist, though. But moments? Those are there – and I find them the most with the sun on my shoulders and the wind at my back.